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Food is a totally reasonable topic,, my ribs recipe.

ribsSo last weekend I made my pork ribs. I cook because it’s fun, a great way to be creative-ish, and well,, you get to eat it when you’re all done. Oh yeah, and being coated in hickory smoke is an aphrodisiac (ask my wife!)

(hang on a sec, eating raw chocolate chip cookie dough, don’t tell anyone!) Ok, I’m back,, and no time has passed for you.

Additionally the added bonus to making ribs was that my good buddy and his wife were coming over to share in the ribs and other ridiculously delightful foods. He’s a graphic designer so we swap hilarious design stories and generally find the most ridiculous music to listen to (seriously, if you haven’t found Johnathan Coulton yet, then I weep for you. (oh yeah, and the Dropkick Murphys).

So back to the ribs, I take two recipes I found a while back (Memphis Hogaholics, Best Odds, THANK YOU!) and combine them in a way that will make tears weep from your eyes, (if executed correctly). Then again, it could just burn a hole in your stomach that could sadden you in a way you don’t want to know.

Here’s what I did to 2 racks of pork back ribs (4 of us, each half a rack,, it was the first time I couldn’t finish!!)

Of course, the night before I pulled the membranes off (that weird cover skin stuff, it just gets in the way). Pro rib guys actually cut any of the little meat pieces that hang off,, ummm that’s rib meat, don’t cut it you goobers! Then I stuck each half a rack in a gallon ziplock, tossed in about 2 tablespoons of salt and 2 cups of water, shook vigorously and let em sit for the night (make SURE you seal up those ziplocks!)

Then about 10:00am I got out my rack,, of spices, and went to town.

First, the dry rub:
1 tablespoon dry mustard
2 tablespoons onion powder
2 tablespoons garlic powder
1 tablespoon ground basil
2 tablespoons red pepper
1 tablespoon lemon peel
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon paprika

4 tablespoons salt
4 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 tablespoon cayenne pepper

Dry off your ribs, put em in new ziplocks and toss in a nice coating for each half a rack (if you do it right you might even have some rub left over for another dish!). Then toss your coated ribs into the fridge, you’ll need them later.

I think that’s about right (I’m going off memory and some “reference materials” I used. I typically adjust on the fly for taste at all times.)

For a wet mop, I use a 50:50 mixture of 1.5 cups canola oil and 1.5 cups apple sauce with a tablespoon of rib rub. Some cooks like to add some apple cider vinegar to the mop. I probably shouldn’t be called a cook, but I did add about half a cup of apple cider vinegar.

For the Sauce itself (which I’m still using on various things like,, grapes,, latkes, and anything else I can find that is edible).

5 ounces dark soy sauce (this is the thick stuff that’s hard to find but SO WORTH IT!)

1 small can tomato paste
5 ounces Worcestershire sauce

12 ounces catsup

1 ounce of your favorite bbq sauce (it’s probably got the dash of liquid smoke we’re looking for, you could do that instead)

1 cup apple cider vinegar
1 cup brown sugar
1 lemon — juice of
1 teaspoon red pepper
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon allspice
1 teaspoon ginger
1 teaspoon basil

Mix all ingredients in a saucepan and simmer for 2
hours on your lowest setting in the morning. Then just keep it hot (NOT BOILING FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!) Over the day the sauce will bloom nicely (my wife was blown away at how the flavors changed in the sauce from the morning to the evening, don’t forget to taste it a lot!) mmmmm

To cook I simply tossed em on the ol’ gas grill. I did take some preparations though.

My grill has three grates, so I pulled the far left grate (it’s a gas grill with four burners).

I have a little smoker box that I shoved full of hickory chips and got them going nicely after cleaning and oiling my grill. I cooked at a temp of between 250 and 320 for about four hours I think. I was flipping around every 20 minutes (mopping carefully at each flip with the wet mop). I just used a simple brush for the wet mop, also I have a side burner and to keep my ribs from losing heat, just keep the mop hot and dab it on, it works great and they don’t dry out.

About 2 hours in I dropped in another batch of hickory for more smoke (it isn’t a true smoker, but I got tons of great flavor from a gas grill, something people will often tell you that you can’t really do)

For the last turn of your ribs slather them on the grill with your sauce like they’re the pope naked and you just want him to put some pants on!  Oh yeah, and the BBQ sauce will last you quite a while too!

Have a great day!